Saturday, January 28, 2012
t h i n k o f m e
I've worked myself into a sadness/depressed state. Darn it. Listening to depressing music by yourself will do that to you I suppose. I'm nonstop during the week, today I had time to stop and think... : /
My stomach hurts and we're about to go and see the "Dragon Dance" and eat Chinese. I sure hope I can make it.
I'm trying to figure out where it came from. Are you ever upset and don't know why? I get like that all the time and have to try and peg it down.
-I'm way behind on reading and I need to catch up.
-I'm getting burned out at the daycare.
-The stress/demand/pressure of my online classes are getting to me.
-I wish I could do cosplay progress.
-Bills are frustrating/ finical planning.
-I've been feeling alone, I don't really get to see anyone, including my family anymore.
-Coming closer to Valentine's day and I feel like an idiot. And kinda of sour about it.
And you know I think it all started when people started quoting me on Gaia, like I don't know and don't understand the whole thing but it made me mad. WHY ME? Like one guy is like "For New Years I'd like to meet a girl." Then one other guy quoted me, the same guy opens a new thread and asks about snow. The first guys says something about not ever seeing snow in texas and almost moved to oklahoma. Then the second guy quotes me again and says "it could've happened" heart heart heart.
Maybe I'm being silly about the whole thing, but it annoys me to no end. So yes I'm bitter about life and about being alone. I'm frustrated with myself. I'm sorry for the rant. I'm ready for my room to not be a mess. I'm ready for it to be painted and fixed. I wish sometimes I wasn't so much depended upon. I wish it was warm outside so I could sleep in the grass.