Friday, March 30, 2012

God Help The Outcasts.

We watched this at daycare today, it really touched me. I really love it when Esmeralda sings, "Were you once an outcast too?" Because Jesus was an outcast.

I'm so excited about the medieval fair this weekend! :D But I need to get homework done first... lol. I think I might have an outfit for it.

I love you. I know we're all going through things.. me included. But, and this is for me as well, we're strong beautiful girls. We can do anything we set our minds to and God is on our side. He doesn't want to see us fail. He is sad when we are sad. And I am sad when you guys are sad, I hate seeing you feel like that.

All of you are always in my prayers, always.

I've been hurting myself this whole week! I was playing hide-and-go-seek-tag with the kids at daycare and I tripped over a stump/log and scraped my leg on it, it hurts still. I got sunburned yesterday too. I don't think my sunscreen really helped today XP But my ear is getting slightly better.

Haven't really heard much from Brant....

There is a picture below of a town in France called Rocamadour, it's one of the places we visited on our trip in France. It's one of the most beautiful places I've ever been too. Watching the Hunchback of Notre Dame just got me thinking about it.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Everything's gonna be, alright.

Sigh, well as most of you know already, Brant left. I guess they're just kind of at a stand still right now, seeing whether he comes back or not. I don't know but all I know is I'm worried that he'll make some really stupid decisions and end up having a kid. I really hope the world serves him up some hot fresh reality pie though because he really needs it.

Back to school and work and life. I am so glad we really only have a month left, this is crazy. I'm ready to not have to worry about due dates and deadlines and cramming. I don't mind working and what not because it pays the bills. My room is such a pit hopefully I can get all the laundry done in the short time I'm here.


It's gonna be here before we know it! I am so excited and so ready for the mental getaway.

I know what I must do. I can't keep whining when all I do is sit around, be lazy, tired, and try to reason things out with myself. If I wanted this so bad, wouldn't I have already done it? It's been, what, almost two years? Just think where I could be right now. Well we can't dote on the past we have to look to the now and what's ahead of us. I need to condition myself, I need to give myself more credit, and I need to absolutely LOVE myself first. There is still time, it is NEVER too late.

"If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution."

That is my problem and I need to encourage myself to have better self control. I need to stop comparing my body to others. Bigger body types run in my family so it's going to be harder to fight but not impossible. You guys seriously need to check out the show "I Use to be Fat" it is an amazing show and it is the healthy way to loose weight. I'm sorry I always blog about this but it's always in the back of my mind. Sometimes I feel like my weight is the thing holding me back. I was teased back in elementary/middle school about being a "bigger" girl. So it's always been a problem to me. It's hard for me to grasp right now that I'm pretty or beautiful because I don't really see that. But slowly, with a healing process from the only person who can give it to me, I'm going to get there.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Come morning light.

CHERYL, this video has spoilers, watch at risk. XP

I'm sick to my stomach.The pressure to be picture perfect or pretty or fit is really getting to me. I wore a tank top today, and I know one of my most hated features on my body is my arms. I hate my arms. And the more I thought about it... I'm going to really be baring my arms for all in Yuna.

I'm panicking, I feel stressed and pressed for time. I wish it could be like magic to wake up one day and accept yourself and love yourself or wake up and be thin. It sucks when your body really prefers to be bigger, it really does.

In other news, I'm done nannying for the week. Thank goodness, I'm glad to be home. :3 

Sunday, March 18, 2012

☆ Carry me home tonight. ★

This video (above) is amazingly edited, therefore, you must watch it.

Here's my weekly schedule:
Sunday: Nanny 7p.m. to 6:30 a.m.
Monday: Daycare 8-6 p.m, Nanny 7p.m. to 6:30 a.m.
Tuesday: Daycare 8-6 p.m., Nanny 7p.m. to 6:30 a.m.
Wednesday: 8-1p.m.
Thursday: 8-10a.m.
Friday: 7-6p.m.

So the beginning of my week is pretty psycho, but the end part of it is alright. I'm totally pumped because I'm going to go get my third piercing for my ear... :D For my Yuna earrings :D I'm so excited :D And with all these hours I'm putting in, and the tax money I'm getting back, I do believe I'm just going to order a wig for Yuna. :3

I've been doing, alright. I just need to stay positive, but it's so easy for me to talk myself down. When it comes to myself or self image, I'm just so negative and hateful towards myself.

I hope you guys will agree with me and I hope the others will as well, but I truly believe that after we get done with our garage sales and other fundraisers, we need to tithe 10% of it. Because in all honestly, it all belongs to God anyways and we need to glorify Him in all that we do. Every week, as bad as it sounds, I tithe and I think man I could really do this or that with this money, but I just push that out of my mind.

Another thing I need to work on is my relationship with God. I know I'm definitely not where I am suppose to be. I need to give everything to Him, I need to put my trust in Him.

I bought a pretty spring dress from Kohl's today that I plan on wearing for Easter :3 It's super cute.

Saturday, March 17, 2012


Sleep in till 10, check.
Watch Harry Potter marathon, check.
Wait for mailman, check.
Be lazy, check.

I'm feeling much better today. Last night I just felt like I was going to get super sick, I rushed home and took Tylenol and buried myself in my bed.

Caelynn and I went to the dollar store and bought an Easter egg dying kit, peeps, and some malt ball egg things.

Guess what came in the mail today O.O


As soon as I got it I had to put it on. I love it! It's so awesome... it makes me super pumped for cosplay. And makes me wanna work out harder.

I think I might go outside and work on our front flower beds, I really wanna get some bulbs to plant. I want a lush garden this year!

Happy Spring Break, y'all.