Monday, March 12, 2012

I. won't. blackout. 。・:*:・゚★

I love that song. It's an awesome work out song.

-Brant: "You have something in the mail."
-Me: "No I don't, I checked it when I got home from work."
-Brant: "No, you have a letter in the mailbox."
-Me: "Uhh, I just said I checked it at seven and it's like 9:30p.m."
-Brant: "Just trust me."
-Me: *runs to mailbox*

THANKS BECKY! Haha, I thought I heard laughing out my window.. XD Love you girlie, it really boosted my day.

Just getting stressed out with school/grades, the load I'm getting at work, and the stress of being perfect for cosplay. I'm just glad we're half way over.. I think during Spring Break I'm going to work ahead on everything and get it finished way before it has to be turned in.

So at work, the girl who usually plans the fieldtrips for the summer is quitting. So that was kind of given to me, the duty of calling and setting up field trips. And it's like P wants the theme come up with, the t-shirt design, start planning decorations, it's stressing me out. I'm like, we have three more months... we can do it then. O.O Then she called me four times right after we left the daycare, like at 6:45.... WHHHATTT? I JUST SAW YOU. I feel bad for feeling like this, but I'm like... I just want to leave work at work.

I know you guys don't want to hear much about this, but buhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I hate my body. And we didn't have anything healthy laying around the house. So I ate apple sauce, nuts, boiled eggs. And lots of water. I worked out like a mad women. Then watched some tutorial of this Yuna (pics of her below) and it just shattered my self confidence. I'm sorry, I'll quit while I get ahead of myself, but it just makes me sad because I just feel so ugly.


  1. Well, if I say so myself, that image of your face blending into Yuna's? YEAH, enough proof to me that you look spot on as Yuna compared to any other cosplayer I've seen. I just stared at it for a cool minute, you are freaking spot on O__O And that spirit of her is just there in you too -- and that's not something easy to just capture as a cosplayer.

    I know it can be really hard to look at other cosplayers who cosplay characters YOU want to be perfect at, and that you love so much (I see so, so many Katara cosplayers that I just feel ugly compared to), but we have to see it all as just a hobby and not have it be a worldly thing that just tears us down more than we're teared down already.

    And besides; bodies can be trained and healthily shaped however you want them to be, it's hard work, but it can be done; however, spirits, souls and hearts are hard to make beautiful and shape.

    Look at where you were a few years ago to where you are now though! And how far you've come! Don't give up on yourself, but instead, look at all your progress and keep your optimism and strong spirit and you'll see the results you want to see. And I know when you're feeling like this, you hate hearing this from people cause you feel like it's a cliche or whatever (I know, cause I can be this way): but seriously. You are so beautiful, Mattie.

    And if you need a hardcore training and a work out buddy, just let me know! >:D I can definitely do more over Spring Break and maybe even the first couple weeks of May before my traveling begins. We can be each other's trainers or something, lol. I have a lot of self-confidence issues too with body shape and weight, so it'd probably be good for us to remain accountable with one another :3 Whatdya' say? We can build each other up and push each other.

    I feel like my thoughts are all over the place right now @.@ I hope I am making sense. If you ever want to talk about it, vent, whatever else, please don't hesitate to text me or call me or something. Cause I feel the same way A LOT, and it may be good for us to talk to one another about it more as a way of venting out the stress and pressure to be some image of perfection, and find ways to boost our confidence and achieve our goals.

    I love you, Mattie -- seriously, you are such a huge blessing and an amazing girl. I am so happy you're in my life! And I want to help you feel better, I hate seeing you down. *hugs*

    1. I totally agree with Meghan, on everything. lol! XD Mattie, girl, you are yuna!! Ever since you told me you wanted to cosplay her, I looked at a pic of her, and then you, and was like, holy crap! Mattie looks exactly like her! and I'm not kidding! and like what Meghan said too, your personality is like her as well, and Idk, this might come out sounding weird, but one thing I noticed about Yuna a long time ago, is that she is not a super skinny character, she is actually a healthy body weight, a normal size, correctly proportioned character. If you look at the pic of her standing next to Titus in the water you will see, shes like a really healthy sized character. :D um... idk if that came out right, but what I'm trying to say, is you dont need to be a stick(super skinny), you already look amazing Mattie, you have worked so hard, and have come really far. You are so beautiful inside and out, and will be the best yuna cosplay ever! and dont worry about your craft skills, because its not about being perfect, its about having fun, and getting to dress up as your favorite character, and practically getting to be them for a day ya know? If cosplay looses its fun, and just becomes stress and comparing to others, and putting yourself down I don't think it worth it. I dealt with this for a long time too... only mine was more based because I didn't look like the characters at all.. my face... well it definitely isn't a square enix face, I have a round nose, round face, small eyes. rofl! XD But I was like, well who cares, I love this character, and I wanna dress up as them, even if I dont look like them at all. I wanna have fun! :) So just have fun! You are gonna be amazing! I love you so much! Hope this helped, and I can't wait till we can hang out and play FFX and work out together, and draw and wahhhh! <333 yay!! Love you! I hope you feel better soon. call or text me if you ever need to talk. ^_^

    2. I agree with everything Cheryl has said too!

      -attacks Mattie with love and comments and ... KITTY FACES-

      :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3




    3. You're welcome Mattie dear! ^_^ I'm so glad that made your day. I TOTALLY agree with Meghan and Cheryl.You are soooooooooooooooooooooo BEAUTIFUL!!! Get that engraved in your head girl! DX Satin is blinding your eyes to see that and girl,I know I've said this before,but God did not make a mistake on making you the way you are. :) We all love you so much and we can't wait to see what God has in store for you in the future (right girls?) XD Love you buddy and you will always be in my prayers. <3 <3