Sunday, October 30, 2011


WAIT! Push play, this music is relaxing. 
Done with my painstaking test, time for some relaxation and some brain numbing/washing tv.
Haha, now here is an over load of pictures I really like.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Isn't anyone looking for me?

My brain is fried. XP

I had a weird dream last night and it kind involved our dinner party... We we're all in like huge ball gowns, beautiful white/gold gowns, and decorated with beautiful jewels. All the ladies had the feather in the hair, curls falling down, white gloves and all the gents were in tuxedos with tales and pocket handkerchiefs. We were all wearing masks, there were more people there than last night and I don't know who they all were, there were probably 30 or so people at the party in my dream. Cheryl's backyard was lit, though it was more like a huge victorian garden,  it was beautiful. All the trees were lit up, there were fountains, and lit pathways. The table was giant and grand, it was covered in candles and roses. It was cold like it was last night. The food was heartwarming too. After dinner, there was a twinkling pavilion where couples danced to a small orchestra. It was magical. Though I didn't have an accompaniment and it seemed like I was the only one, so I took a stroll through the garden. When I finally reached the back Meghan and Cheryl came to find me, I remember turning around with a tear streaming down my face, hair had fallen down (which it was long :D). "What's wrong?" ....
"Isn't anyone looking for me?" Then I picked up my dress, stepped over the lighted pathway, and ran into the darkness.

Hahaha so much of this resembles what we were talking about and joking around with. XD

I can't wait to have my room back to myself... siggggh. Back to the test. Looks like I'm not going to be done with it till Monday. 


Monday, October 24, 2011


100th blog! -throws confetti-

I was reading a thread over on Gaia and it was about cosplayers, the whole weight issues and races issues. Some people can be big jerks. I know I shouldn't listen but it's hard. It kinda hurts. XP

I'm almost done with my Sophie wig, errr, it's be evil. I wish Izumicon would be here already. I'm also ready for this semester to be over too. Come on' December! lol

I had a bank scare but I figured it out. I deposited my check Saturday and it doesn't go in until tonight. Phew, I freaked out. Super stressed. XP

Mmmm, I need to leave for school in 8 minutes but I don't wannna. We get our take home test this weekend, I hope it'll boost my grade up to a B. I got an 88 on my last test, yeeeyeah. I am going to have a B in this class, I swear it! lol

So all I really need to do now is make my Sailor Moon suit... Cheryl will you still help me? And get my drawings together. So much to do! Ahhh this weekend is going to stink, so busy. But I'm ready to party. :D

Wednesday, October 19, 2011


I went to the dentist today and I found out that I have two cavaties. Boo. I know, but they're my first ever cavaties, I've never had any before. And I need to floss, I went in knowing that I needed to. Man, was he digging into my gums.. they still hurt two hours later.

They took out my closet yesterday! Now my room is one big square! It looks bigger than before, I am so excited to re-decorate it! I also get to decorate my new bigger closet! Ahhhh! So excited.

My white extensions are coming in today, the tracking system said so. That means once I get that braided into my white wig, I'm done with Sophie and I'll only have Sailor Moon to work on! Minus minor things that I have to do so that my cosplay will be ready to go! Yay I love it when things start going right.

Mannnnn next weekend my professor is giving us our take home test.. it's going to be so hard. Hopefully I can get it done before the weekend so I have enjoy my time at Cheryl's Halloween bash. But school, I'm doing really well in. It's exciting for once... and I can't really complain. Things are totally sticking in my brain, I could totally explain Glycolysis for you if you wanted. Haha. XD

I've gained a couple of pounds back and it has just made me wanna attack. I've been letting myself eat out of control whether it's out of boredom or stress, probably both. So I'm going to start a routine and I'm getting back on my health kick -mounts soapbox- and I'm going to eat right. I need more self control and a CAN-DO attitude. Because I can do this. :D

Fall Break! Yeeeyeahh, although it doesn't really effected. Well I do get to work all day both days, so I will get more money in the long run. But still. Haha, I cannot wait till Thanksgiving break (after Izumicon) not only will I have less school but we're staying in town! Huzzah for not having to travel. That's totally exciting.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

"I'll lead them to your door."

Alright I think I have at least three sketches, three good sketches, I want to use. Possibly four. Whoa, maybe even five.... Hmph, getting closer. I'm going to draw a picture everyday this week. I just need to take deep breaths and take it slow, not give up within the first how many minutes. It's a progress, not magic. I need to fix a bit on them and learn to color *gets on knees over and over*

I think I'm going to wear my Sailor Moon shirt tomorrow! Whoo!

Yesterday way fun. Meghan, Cheryl, and I got table things squared away. Huzzah for that! I got my Sailor Moon wig fixed because of these ladies, double huzzah.

Things I still need to buy:
Black gloves (Videl)
Gloves (Sailor Moon)
White extensions
Pink Ribbon Bows
White leotard
Fabric (Sailor Moon)
Red vest w/gold buttons (Luffy)
Blue jeans
Black Wig

Things to fix:
Sailor Moon wig
Sailor Moon brooch
Sailor moon feather clips
Videl hair ties
Videl boots
Videl shirt (sew armpit area)

I can probably knock most of this stuff off this weekend. My mom's birthday is Sunday! I need to get her something but I don't know what... I know she wants a high dollar camera, but I'm gonna save and pitch in a sum for Christmas for that. But I think I'm going to give her a giftcard to Home Depot again, she really appreciated that, not that my mom doesn't appreciate things that she gets but she could really use it... like it was practical. Does that make sense?

I guess a lot also that has been getting me down is, well, I'm kinda lonely. I mean I know I shouldn't complain, but uhhhh. Okay okay, I knoooow one doesn't need to have a relationship to "survive" and I'm definitely not one of those girls that has to be in a relationship every minute of her life. I mean shoot, the single life is pretty hardcore and free... But that has me a bit down, I've never ever really been in one, like a real serious one. And that also takes me back to my self confidence self image issue. Though I am so shy and awkward when it comes to guys in the first place. I think it's because I didn't really have any guy friends, ever. This is group is the first guy friends I've really had lol. This is bad but some where programed in my brain I have "if I was thinner I would be liked better." I know it's horrible but sometimes I feel like it's true.

Like when I was in Arkansas I was given a really hard time about it, like hassled. First my new Uncle thought I was 16 yrs old... -dies- and then when I told him I was 21 he asked me why I was still living at home -dies- and why I haven't had any serious relationships. My answer, "Well I'm just having fun with my friends right now >.<" "Sheesh, you're 21 and haven't at least shacked up with two guys already?" Now let me paint you the picture, the kitchen is a square I'm pinned up against the refrigerator, my "uncle" is across the room from me and Rhiannon, my aunt, and my cousin are on either side of him. I felt like I was trapped. I didn't know what to say to that.. I felt like he was attacking me. I was kinda of taken back, heck no I haven't shacked up with guys. Geeez, I'm not trashy. First of all, that's against my moral ethics and religion. Secondly, I know what comes from that: children. Thirdly, that's not my idea of "fun." I just walked out of the room. When you go and see family that you haven't seen in forever they always a couple of these questions:

1. "Are you dating anyone?"
2. "Where do you work?"
3. "Have you graduated college yet?"

And oddly, I'm kind of sensitive to all. 1, No actually. 2, I live at a daycare. 3, No I messed up and slacked off, but at least I'm still going.

Okay now I'm just getting bitter. >.>

I'm sorry, I rant here a lot and don't really talk about it to you guys. But when it comes to feelings I get awkward and shy and shut down. I don't know what to say.

BUT IZUMICON. I'm really looking forward to that and our Halloween party. I really want crazy colored hair again too.. lol. But I know, I'm keeping my chin up. I know "he" won't show up on a white horse and I'm not going to just settle for anything. I have standards that I'm sticking to. I need to put faith into it. Honestly, I think I need to learn to love myself more, which is very hard.

Friday, October 7, 2011

I'm sorry, but I've secretly been emo recently. Sigh and this stupid HP touch pad correcting me every single second is really ticking me off. Haha. I've been watching Dragon Ball Z this evening lol though I think I'm either about to change it to Sailor Moon Stars or go to bed. Sailor Moon Stars always makes feel better, it's so sad and sappy.

I guess it's the stresses of cosplay, especially who I am cosplaying... You know fitting the image. I've actually been having a hard time lately with my self image. I think after this semester I'm gonna get a trainer or gym membership or something....

And work! Drama llama, so much drama and gossip. It will wear you down even if you're not involved. And how some people can treat little kids! Insane.

So tomorrow we're (hopefully) gonna get table things straightened out and cosplay stuff done, like my pitiful wig. Then I have to do the kiddos laundry and I'm totally getting paid for it! Huzzah, that money is going straight to my savings for lolita dress, just in case that vendor shows up at Izumicon! :D

Wednesday, October 5, 2011


Things I still need to buy:
Black gloves (Videl)
Gloves (Sailor Moon)
White extensions?
Pink Ribbon Bows
White leotard
Fabric (Sailor Moon)
Red vest w/gold buttons (Luffy)
Blue jeans
Black Wig
Tensa Zangetsu cosplay

So I've decided that in 5 weeks there's no way I could pull off making this Tensa Zangetsu cosplay, therefore I'm going to order it off the internet and through, which they have some really nice cosplay there. Yes it is about $125 but I was figuring that after we bought the fabric white and black, it'd probably be around the same. And I'm not the one actually buying it, he is. XP I just need to make sure it'll come in time.

Haha, did I freak you guys out? Yes ma'am and sirs, five more weeks. I have some art that I'm going to use for the table I just need to fix the problems, detail them, and learn how to color.. Cheryl will you teach me how to color on the computer? :D

Rhiannon is having a baby boy! She found out today, they are going to name him Eli Christoper. I can't wait to see him! Eeek!

Sigh, I have 30 minutes till my next and only class starts. Thank goodness it's almost the weekend. I don't have a test for a while too so I can devote most of my time to cosplay and art. Yes! I am so excited about this convention. It's a small one and all of our awesome friends are going to be there! Everyone is gonna be there, like our whole circle! Yes ma'am!