Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Hoooooe hum.

I think things will be good for a while now. I think we're over the hill finally, thank goodness. Well I'm excited, tomorrow I'm going swimming with the daycare folks at Okarche! It's a nice size outside swimming pool and I love love love going off the high dive. Haha, me and the older kids at the daycare try to do "waterbending cannon balls" and what not off of it. We also scream "WATERBENDING CANNON BALL!" They actually taught me a good lesson, the kids. I wouldn't scream it, I was really embarrassed to do it.. I thought "What will the life guards think of me? (They we're really cute)" I didn't want them thinking I was stupid... so when I got back in line one of the older boys told me this "Just do it, there's nothing to be ashamed of. You're surrounded by kids who think you're awesome, so it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks." That came from the mouth of a 9 year old boy. Thank you, those words I will hold on to for the rest of my life.     

Okay, I know I'm a bad girl for doing this but I don't really have a class on Wednesday nights... so instead I went to Kohl's. We dropped off the kiddos to their classes, Brant went to class with Alex, and then off we were. I got some $4.00 pants, a really pretty classy $14.00 dress that was originally $70. And a couple of other things for a pretty good deal. I was very pleased with myself! Haha.

I've been drawing everyday, trying to improve. So far I really really really hate drawing hands. I hate it! I am so horrible at it. But I've just been getting into a drawing mood... that and when I get bored I get the munchies and I'm trying to cut back... so instead I've been drawing! So I can keep my mind off of food! lol, but seriously. And I haven't been looking at any reference pictures, just me, my pencil, and a ruler. They're not that pretty... D: But I'm working on that!

Sorry for being so down in the dumps.. I've been crying so much lately and I hate it. I hate being sad almost as much as I hate drawing hands. It's kinda been stressful but I also think drawing has helped with that. I can get my rage out on paper instead of keeping it bottled up. It's just work, home, life in general. I'm actually ready, now, for school to start and for fall to be here. I love the smell of fall, the smell of the health/science building, and almost getting into my program. Which I need to study for my entrance exam.. shoot. XD


Pretty $70 dress I got for $14! :D 

Sunday, July 24, 2011


The other day I had a really awesome dream. Meghan, Cheryl, and I had families that were ranked class wise, so we had titles of "ladies" like "Lady Meghan" etc. And we were at the royal palace or some jazz, in super cute lolita, and we were drinking tea. Uh, it was so pretty! Like the tea cups, the table, the tea parlor. We were waiting for someone, I wanna say like the "princess" or something I can't really remember. And we looked so cute and awesome! Uh! And the general walked in, mmmmmmm, eye candy, and we were totally all googly eyed all over him. Haha! It was an awesome dream. :D

I had loads of fun today! I went to an "anime party" at Suncoast in the mall with my gang. Haha, I dressed Alex as Aang, Ariana as Katara, Caelynn as Misty, and Ana as Satsuki. I was of course Videl because it's the most comfy one I have. XD Horrah for laziness. Then taking advantage of the buy one get one 50% off, I bought another copy of Spirited Away and Castle in the Sky. My Miyazaki collection is almost complete... lol.

So. I signed Alex and Ariana up as a cosplay group, then Caelynn, and then Ana. But I stood with them up there because there was no way that they were gonna stand up their by themselves, which is totally cool with me. It was totally all about the kiddos today, I did it all for them. I wanted them to have fun, which they had loads of fun. I mean they got to meet Miku, which they all really love. Anyway, so the Miku cosplayer got 2nd and the FLCL Haruko Haruhara (totally looked that name up) got 1st, the crowd voted for the places not the people in charge at the store. Whatever it didn't matter because everyone came up to my kiddos and gave them candy and told them how awesome/cute/adorable they were. After the cosplay contest was a ramune drinking contest so we decided to go get something to snack on/drink. So we were talking about how awesome they did in the contest and Brant says "Well you know the only reason why that Miku girl and the Fooley Cooley girl won was because they were cute. And the crowd voted.. and they were mostly guys. They were really cute." I laughed but it was true. "Haha, right. So if I entered do you think I would win because I'm cute?" Totally kidding because I am so not that way. I think he said something to the effect of "I have no opinion" or something like that. I know he's my brother and he can't say whether I am cute or not but I think he could have said something differently, it kinda brought me down.

No it brought me way down. I know those girls were probably years younger than me... but I still compare myself to them. I know I know, I shouldn't do that. But it's like I unconsciously compare myself to other girls all the time, a bad bad habit of mine. You guys are probably getting tired of hearing/reading me talk/type about my stupid insecurities and I wish I didn't have them. I felt good about myself for a while, but now I'm back on my slump. And I know you don't have to be thin/smaller in order to be beautiful.. is it bad that I want to loose more weight? I don't know. I feel flawed, I feel like a wallflower, and I feel a shojo marathon soon.

I'm glad it's raining. We need rain.

I'm in the process of making a Videl x Gohan video :D I found a song that I really liked.. I hope it turns out good hmph. And I'm really thinking about entering in the AMV contest at Izumicon. I have until November 1st so whoo! I wanna re-do my Blow - Avatar video, haha. I think that would be really awesome. Today has totally got me thinking about cosplay for Izumicon as well. For sure Super Sailor Moon, I have to. I'm thinking Nurse Joy too... I'd get to buy a pink wig! GASP!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

"Send me away with the words of a love song."

Bad past couple of days. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but I honestly wish I could just sleep all day and spend all my time in my dreams. Lack of mis-communication? Got yelled at yesterday, broke down. Had a heart to heart today, broke down. I've been holding so much in for a while now and it just sent me over the edge. Sigh. And to solve the problems? I have no idea how. I hate confrontation.

I'm looking forward to the school semester. I get more time to myself and I'm not excepted to do much but get good grades. I know I'm not making much sense, but.. eh I'm tired. I am just done and over it. There's nothing much I can really do and I suppose complaining about it won't change anything. The problem is still there and I hope it goes away soon and fast.

On the other hand, my room smells like a tropical paradise, which is soothing <3

Monday, July 18, 2011

We have to leave without looking back.

That's a lyric from "Just Be Friends." So sad.. it's such a sad video but I love it! I love Luka Megurine! She's the one with the pink hair.. from Vocaloid. Pink hair! lol

Tokyo in Tulsa 2011 was amazing. I had so much fun going up on stage and being goofy, meeting/hanging out with Mai (Arienne), running up and down the sky bridge. We really need to take video of us running like that! Rofl! Just being with the awesome people I was with, I couldn't asked for it any differently! I also thank God for His hand of protection, because man, there were some times that I think we could have had a wreck, like that flipped car! Man. And getting lost in Tulsa with Cheryl! Haha. But yes, overall AMAZING!

Today I was in a wreck, some girl blew a stop sign on Frisco and I didn't really get time to brake and I hit her car. All is well though, I mean, I was in the truck. Didn't get much damage, her however I made a good size dent in her small car. And we're both good. I was just a bit shaken and my back is a bit sore.. and I had a headache, but I thank God for it not being worse. It probably could have been.

I wanna become a good artist. Remotely good. Just a bit? Haha, and I really want lolita. I don't regret not buying a dress at TnT, but I really want one. Good things come to those who wait, right? And I totally want to enter the AMV contest at Izumicon. I wanna get a skit together and enter that too! That would be so much fun. AHHH! Contests. Contests are so much fun, getting on that stage has sparked something within me. I love performing. I miss it too. I wanna be a better cosplayer too. I'm going to work hard from now till Izumicon, going to try to perfect everything I possibly can. I am so inspired right now. I've been blessed by God so much recently and I want to share His love with others! :D

P.S. I love you guys, my friends. I can't tell you how much I do, because words cannot describe it! You're so amazing, beautiful, inspiring, funny, caring, passionate, and I couldn't see myself being friends with anyone else than you guys! Love you so much!

I love the color pink <3

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

We're all a little bit weird sometimes.

I love that song, I'm actually listening to the original version right now. "Weird" by Hanson! I love Hanson... I actually went on a boy-band download frenzie. Haha! I had to make a new cd for the daycare for naptime, so I put a lot of slow songs on it... and it's mostly boy band music! :D

Fourth of July, ehhhh. It was alright, could have been way better. Spending time around a ton of drunken losers was not fun. No fun at all. But I was there for my sister, so I guess that's what really matters. All I know is that the guy I marry in the future, will not drink. I mean drink casually or all the time or one every other day. I mean not that I hate drinking, but drinking to get drunk? Seriously. No. It's childish and selfish. I mean there were kids there and they were lighting fireworks. So many words come to mind right now that I can't say that they are, shhheeesh. And some of them would sneek around the house to drink another can of beer because their wives didn't want them too... and most of them were drunk since early in the morning. I think drinking is pointless. Uh.

It's field trip day, they're going bowling. I'm staying at the daycare and I'm going to party! Haha, just kidding... but really. It's nice being by myself with the nappers. I sometimes take a nap too, shhhhh don't tell anyone. Then I'm suppose to go eat out with Jacque and P tonight! YEAH! lol, North party. XD

I can't believe the summer is almost oveer, it's sad. I don't wannna go back to school. School = more work on top of the work I have now. Though after this semester I'm going to apply for Nursing school and that's one step closer to moving out! lol  AND yes Meghan, I love love love We Heart It. Best picture site ever.