Sunday, July 24, 2011


The other day I had a really awesome dream. Meghan, Cheryl, and I had families that were ranked class wise, so we had titles of "ladies" like "Lady Meghan" etc. And we were at the royal palace or some jazz, in super cute lolita, and we were drinking tea. Uh, it was so pretty! Like the tea cups, the table, the tea parlor. We were waiting for someone, I wanna say like the "princess" or something I can't really remember. And we looked so cute and awesome! Uh! And the general walked in, mmmmmmm, eye candy, and we were totally all googly eyed all over him. Haha! It was an awesome dream. :D

I had loads of fun today! I went to an "anime party" at Suncoast in the mall with my gang. Haha, I dressed Alex as Aang, Ariana as Katara, Caelynn as Misty, and Ana as Satsuki. I was of course Videl because it's the most comfy one I have. XD Horrah for laziness. Then taking advantage of the buy one get one 50% off, I bought another copy of Spirited Away and Castle in the Sky. My Miyazaki collection is almost complete... lol.

So. I signed Alex and Ariana up as a cosplay group, then Caelynn, and then Ana. But I stood with them up there because there was no way that they were gonna stand up their by themselves, which is totally cool with me. It was totally all about the kiddos today, I did it all for them. I wanted them to have fun, which they had loads of fun. I mean they got to meet Miku, which they all really love. Anyway, so the Miku cosplayer got 2nd and the FLCL Haruko Haruhara (totally looked that name up) got 1st, the crowd voted for the places not the people in charge at the store. Whatever it didn't matter because everyone came up to my kiddos and gave them candy and told them how awesome/cute/adorable they were. After the cosplay contest was a ramune drinking contest so we decided to go get something to snack on/drink. So we were talking about how awesome they did in the contest and Brant says "Well you know the only reason why that Miku girl and the Fooley Cooley girl won was because they were cute. And the crowd voted.. and they were mostly guys. They were really cute." I laughed but it was true. "Haha, right. So if I entered do you think I would win because I'm cute?" Totally kidding because I am so not that way. I think he said something to the effect of "I have no opinion" or something like that. I know he's my brother and he can't say whether I am cute or not but I think he could have said something differently, it kinda brought me down.

No it brought me way down. I know those girls were probably years younger than me... but I still compare myself to them. I know I know, I shouldn't do that. But it's like I unconsciously compare myself to other girls all the time, a bad bad habit of mine. You guys are probably getting tired of hearing/reading me talk/type about my stupid insecurities and I wish I didn't have them. I felt good about myself for a while, but now I'm back on my slump. And I know you don't have to be thin/smaller in order to be beautiful.. is it bad that I want to loose more weight? I don't know. I feel flawed, I feel like a wallflower, and I feel a shojo marathon soon.

I'm glad it's raining. We need rain.

I'm in the process of making a Videl x Gohan video :D I found a song that I really liked.. I hope it turns out good hmph. And I'm really thinking about entering in the AMV contest at Izumicon. I have until November 1st so whoo! I wanna re-do my Blow - Avatar video, haha. I think that would be really awesome. Today has totally got me thinking about cosplay for Izumicon as well. For sure Super Sailor Moon, I have to. I'm thinking Nurse Joy too... I'd get to buy a pink wig! GASP!


  1. Mattie, you have the BEST dreams! ^.^ You really need to draw this one out! haha! X3

    and Im so glad you all had a good time at the suncoast party! you are sooo sweet to take them all there and to have made them all those adorable costumes! Mattie, Gods going to bless you so much for how much you do for others, even if you cant see it now, He has GOOD GOOD Things in store for you. ^__^ Im sorry I wasn't able to go to the suncoast party with yall, Tiger didnt even end up coming over till like 3. :P but thanks so much for stopping by! I was so happy to see all the kiddos in their cute outfits! X3

    and Mattie, dont listen to Brant, hes just another boy who doesn't know anything about whats important. You ARE BEAUTIFUL! they way you are, your beauty just shines through Mattie, I see it every day, and the guy that really matters some day is the one thats going to see that too. I love you Mattie! dont give up. ^_^

    and omg!! Yes!!! you should totally enter your BLOW video in the AMV contest! you'll win for sure!! X3 <3333

  2. Oh!! and I love that song!! :D and your new blog layout by the way!! Its so pretty!! ^^