Monday, January 30, 2012


OKAY, I have my heart totally set on doing this for a skit. Mostly me flailing around on a box on stage. XD

But I want to make it intense, like the amv is. Sooooooo I was wondering if some of you guys would be extras and really get into performing. Like crying. You know? Like the lady does because she lost her baby, in the amv? I'll think more about it and what I want, but I was just wondering if you'd be interested. Meghan, Cheryl... do you think any of the guys would help out? I mean they wouldn't say anything just stand back and watch, be the strong manly consoling figure? I found this one that's really cool and I'd like to implement some things into mine from it.

See how stiff she is? I'd totally add a toss in there too... and in the amv Yuna cries because Lulu after it's over says "Next time now tears, okay?" I can totally throw some tears in there. For guard we had to cry in performance, I'm good at that. I'm so excited! >.< It's going to be sad... and you know, now to sound conceited, I think I could totally win. I mean there was only two skits last year at TnT... ROFL

Sorry, I don't wanna sound full of myself. I'm just really excited! And I really want to do this!

"People die, Yuna dances."

"When will she stop dancing? When will it stop? Yuna won't stop dancing, not until Sin is gone." - Tidus, FFX

OKAY I really wanna do a skit of that scene and of course I wouldn't use the flag... I'D USE THE ROD ETHAN'S MAKING FOR ME :3 :3 :3 I don't think he realizes how happy I'm going to be when I see it. Step back, I might go nuts.

But I saw some one youtube, skits of the "sending" and they weren't very fluid. They were stiff and kinda robot like. Coming from a sort-danceish back ground I think I could do it!

Then I was gonna ask, are we doing a skit for A-KON?, TnT?, Izumicon? Just wondering ;D and if so then we need to get on with writing it. I think we should do one for A-KON, I mean why not? lol

I'm making a shirt/tank top/dress thing out of one of my mom's old 80's dresses. Haha, it's turning out okay so far. I'll post some pictures of it when I'm totally finished! I'm taking a break right now lol

I'm so excited!!! I need to catch up with my 365 day drawings, I think I need to do three? Un sure, but I'll get to it. I don't think I've seen any improvement but I'm trying to push out of the box. I just hate doing tutorials because I feel like it's not even my work, I'm just copying. >.>

I hope to start painting on my room this weekend for sure. I'm ready to have a cute pink room that we can have poetry readings in! BTW, this weekend is the vintage flea market! They have a ton of cute things there and TOTALLY we need to go!!!! I'm probably going on Saturday in the morning when it first opens... I found a ton of awesome stuff there. I got a huge antique wall clock for $20, it's gold and pretty and I got an old sliver brush and comb set for $25! ;D

Meghan and Cheryl and who ever else! We totally need to get cute wholesome vintage bathing suits. The more I look at them the harder I want to work! :D I've seen some cute ones in the mall before.. and online! I'm totally up for this! Meghan, the beach is the perfect destination. Too bad we weren't going together to the same spot.. coincidentally. Then we COULD take cosplay photos... at the beach. rofl 


Sunday, January 29, 2012


Garbage, bwhaha, Vic your so cool! I hope he's doing something at A-KON, a Sunday reflection type thing. I really would like to speak with him and tell him how much his words reached me at Izumicon.

Sorry I was acting the fool the other day. I just let things take me under and I know I shouldn't. I need to trust in God more and pray about things. Everything is going to be okay, more than okay, perfect. I don't need to let Satan get me down.

Our message in church today spoke to me. Confirming and confirming. The title of the message was "Constancy of Trusting God" which I know I need to improve in. Pastor spoke about how we are all called according to His purpose, He has planned for us, gifted us, and we need to TRUST in Him regardless of the situation, bad news, or circumstances.

I was a bit worried, going into a convention and trying to witness, being shut down and maybe even chewed out. But with God on our side, what can they really do? We need to put trust in Him.

Sigh, I'm taking a break from statistics. I've only done one lesson, but it's so borring and the narrators voice is so monotoned. We dropped my dad off at the airport today, he went to Georgia for work. In a couple of months I think he has to go somewhere else too. But he'll be back on Thursday! It was a lot of fun though.. they have those long strips moving floor things. Like an escalator but it's flat, I guess for people with lots of luggage or people who are lazy. We played on them, it was fun. The kids really enjoyed it! :D

Saturday, January 28, 2012

t h i n k o f m e

I've worked myself into a sadness/depressed state. Darn it. Listening to depressing music by yourself will do that to you I suppose. I'm nonstop during the week, today I had time to stop and think... : /

My stomach hurts and we're about to go and see the "Dragon Dance" and eat Chinese. I sure hope I can make it.

I'm trying to figure out where it came from. Are you ever upset and don't know why? I get like that all the time and have to try and peg it down.

-I'm way behind on reading and I need to catch up.
-I'm getting burned out at the daycare.
-The stress/demand/pressure of my online classes are getting to me.
-I wish I could do cosplay progress.
-Bills are frustrating/ finical planning.
-I've been feeling alone, I don't really get to see anyone, including my family anymore.
-Coming closer to Valentine's day and I feel like an idiot. And kinda of sour about it.

And you know I think it all started when people started quoting me on Gaia, like I don't know and don't understand the whole thing but it made me mad. WHY ME? Like one guy is like "For New Years I'd like to meet a girl." Then one other guy quoted me, the same guy opens a new thread and asks about snow. The first guys says something about not ever seeing snow in texas and almost moved to oklahoma. Then the second guy quotes me again and says "it could've happened" heart heart heart.

Maybe I'm being silly about the whole thing, but it annoys me to no end. So yes I'm bitter about life and about being alone. I'm frustrated with myself. I'm sorry for the rant. I'm ready for my room to not be a mess. I'm ready for it to be painted and fixed. I wish sometimes I wasn't so much depended upon. I wish it was warm outside so I could sleep in the grass.

When will my life begin...

I feel kinda stuck like Rapunzel. The same things everyday, everyday. I'm barely even home, I don't really get to see my family, I don't get to see my friends. And having classes online don't really hold me accountable.

This past week at the daycare we were learning about the letter "P" so I dressed like Rapunzel, it was so much fun and the older kids were like "Whoa you're Rapunzel! You're so beautiful." I wish adults were like kids, my pre-k girls and boys always tell me that I'm beautiful and awesome. It's insane how much society will corrupt their brains. I've got a couple of dreams that were, interesting! lol

#1. I was walking in a school yard and this gang of guys were picking on girls, pulling them aside and trying to kiss them against their will. Well that so happened to be the path to my car, right?! So I'm trying to get past them, I did, but then I hear foot steps behind me. "Ohhhhh she thinks she can get past US." And then I can hear them cuss and stuff, then all of a sudden someone grabs my hand from behind and I do something were I twist my hand free, grab his arm, and flip him over. Then it was quiet, the guy was knocked out, and his gang were going nuts. "We're gonna get you @!#$#%" So then I start running, I try to find the police on campus but I couldn't. I finally get into the science department and hide in one of the anatomy rooms. lol

#2. I was walking down neighborhoods, I was lost. I don't know what I was looking for and I couldn't remember anything about my past. I however had the truck (that I drive now) and drove it to a restaurant, parked it, and continued to walk. Most of the dream I was walking and hiding from people. Weird. Well I went back to get my truck and started to freak out. Some guy who works at the restaurant was trying to calm me down, but someone had stolen the truck.. then they were trying to rob the store. So they came in with guns and stuff. Well the man who owned the place, the guy who was trying to calm me down, and some men i the restaurant beat them off. This was in a post apocalyptic world I think, because things were just different.

Crazy dreams. lol

Ever since my parents have started talking about going to the beach, I have yearned for it. I can't wait to feel the sun of my skin, my feet in the sand, and the nice cool waves beating my legs. I want summer now.

Monday, January 23, 2012

It's going to be okay.

Mood: Peaceful
Listening to: Clair de Lune (harp version)
Drinking: Chocolate and caramel coffee

During the fast I was praying for direction. "Lord order my steps..." you know the whole drill. What I figured out was what I've heard all along but I've been running away from it honestly. During praise and worship we were singing "We Will Remember" and it came to me. We were given our talents to praise the Lord. All of our costuming, woodworking, and other amazing talents need to be given back to God. I feel like He placed on my heart, we are able to go to these conventions so that we can spread His word and share His peace. This terrifies me honestly... because honestly I've never witnessed to anyone. But it's my turn, it's our turn. I really feel like we're suppose to go to A-KON and share His love, share His promises at every convention. That is our only purpose at these things.. If we're their only chance at hearing His word and we're too scared to do it? Won't we be held accountable for it in the end? The only thing they can tell us is "No." But at least they heard it.

Pastor went on and preached about Paul and Philippians 1. Which totally confirmed everything. "For it has been granted to you on behalf on Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him, since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have." Philippians 1:29-30 He was stripped of his clothes and beaten and thrown in jail for preaching God's love. Why can't we go to extreme lengths to touch people? That is our mission, that is why we've been placed where we are. There's someone waiting for us.

I can only hear Vic's words ringing through my head.... I've also read on "Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:4. Like Vic said Jesus would have been going around talking to EVERYONE and telling them how awesome they look. If there's a girl wearing a bikini who are we to judge her on her looks? What if she really needs someone to lean on? Someone to tell her everything is going to be okay? What if we're the only ones to do so? This is our mission field. And we need to rise to the occasion, because we've been called. He has placed a calling on our lives that we cannot deny.

Phew, I'm in tears now... sorry. I'm not Bible smart I'll tell you that honestly. I don't know how to pray aloud and I'm definitely the smartest... but we have time to get ready. I want to find a Bible study about witnessing and I think we should have prayer meetings. God has done so much for my family, He has healed Ariana to no end. She was on the brink of death and blindness, the doctors never thought she would do anything but yet she has dumbfounded them all. It's my turn to return the blessings to others. I hope we're on the same page.


Yesterday the fast was over! When we give something up for the Lord he will bless us. I feel truly blessed. After church we went to Hunan Chinese Garden! YUUUUM! Haha, and I had ice cream. And it was like when I got home I had so much energy and I cleaned the whole house, lol. And I got some homework done.. and then my Dad cooked some lasagna for me. Yesterday was an awesome day.

I'm not going to start cosplay work right now, only because I am seriously in a bill jumble. I've gotta finish paying for books and start a payment on my school bill. Plus I want to loose a couple of poundage and look more fit/healthy. I did splurge yesterday, but I've pulled it in today. So far I had oatmeal with a little bit of butter, two teaspoons of sugar, and silk milk. Then my coffee. I have Mondays off, so I'm gonna do a bit of working out, maybe go running.

I'm just so excited. God is moving in our lives, let's open our hearts to Him.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Who run the world?

The song is kinda cheesy, but it still makes me pumped for our awesomely huge Final Fantasy girl group! :D

Sharon bought P some cake for her birthday and I had to take it over to our center... it was soooo tempting. I was like, "Okay if I have a piece I'll just do it longer..." but then I thought you know, that piece of cake isn't going to taste as good as I think it will be and the guilt will feel so much worse. So I said, "Hahaha, I beat you today cake. You can't have me, I'll have an orange instead." But I did pick out chocolate caramel coffee creamer for me tomorrow, that's what I'm gonna have! And my Dad's making lasagna for me >.< mmmmm, warm good food.

Thanks guys for everything. It just seemed like everything was crashing around me the other day, and I didn't know what to do. Things are still a bit iffy, but that's life. I'm working through it. But thanks for being so awesome, I appreciate it to no end. I know I can always count on you guys and thank you for being someone I can run to. Love you girls!

WHO RUN THE WORLD?! Rofl, we'll have to scream that.

My parents are wanting to go to the beach in Florida, I'm trying to convince my dad if we can go to Disney World for at least one day, one day and I'll be the happiest girl in the world. I just want to go to Magic Kingdom again. <3