Monday, January 23, 2012

It's going to be okay.

Mood: Peaceful
Listening to: Clair de Lune (harp version)
Drinking: Chocolate and caramel coffee

During the fast I was praying for direction. "Lord order my steps..." you know the whole drill. What I figured out was what I've heard all along but I've been running away from it honestly. During praise and worship we were singing "We Will Remember" and it came to me. We were given our talents to praise the Lord. All of our costuming, woodworking, and other amazing talents need to be given back to God. I feel like He placed on my heart, we are able to go to these conventions so that we can spread His word and share His peace. This terrifies me honestly... because honestly I've never witnessed to anyone. But it's my turn, it's our turn. I really feel like we're suppose to go to A-KON and share His love, share His promises at every convention. That is our only purpose at these things.. If we're their only chance at hearing His word and we're too scared to do it? Won't we be held accountable for it in the end? The only thing they can tell us is "No." But at least they heard it.

Pastor went on and preached about Paul and Philippians 1. Which totally confirmed everything. "For it has been granted to you on behalf on Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him, since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have." Philippians 1:29-30 He was stripped of his clothes and beaten and thrown in jail for preaching God's love. Why can't we go to extreme lengths to touch people? That is our mission, that is why we've been placed where we are. There's someone waiting for us.

I can only hear Vic's words ringing through my head.... I've also read on "Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:4. Like Vic said Jesus would have been going around talking to EVERYONE and telling them how awesome they look. If there's a girl wearing a bikini who are we to judge her on her looks? What if she really needs someone to lean on? Someone to tell her everything is going to be okay? What if we're the only ones to do so? This is our mission field. And we need to rise to the occasion, because we've been called. He has placed a calling on our lives that we cannot deny.

Phew, I'm in tears now... sorry. I'm not Bible smart I'll tell you that honestly. I don't know how to pray aloud and I'm definitely the smartest... but we have time to get ready. I want to find a Bible study about witnessing and I think we should have prayer meetings. God has done so much for my family, He has healed Ariana to no end. She was on the brink of death and blindness, the doctors never thought she would do anything but yet she has dumbfounded them all. It's my turn to return the blessings to others. I hope we're on the same page.


Yesterday the fast was over! When we give something up for the Lord he will bless us. I feel truly blessed. After church we went to Hunan Chinese Garden! YUUUUM! Haha, and I had ice cream. And it was like when I got home I had so much energy and I cleaned the whole house, lol. And I got some homework done.. and then my Dad cooked some lasagna for me. Yesterday was an awesome day.

I'm not going to start cosplay work right now, only because I am seriously in a bill jumble. I've gotta finish paying for books and start a payment on my school bill. Plus I want to loose a couple of poundage and look more fit/healthy. I did splurge yesterday, but I've pulled it in today. So far I had oatmeal with a little bit of butter, two teaspoons of sugar, and silk milk. Then my coffee. I have Mondays off, so I'm gonna do a bit of working out, maybe go running.

I'm just so excited. God is moving in our lives, let's open our hearts to Him.


  1. Yes! YES!
    Mattie, I agree with you so much.

    God put this burden on my heart too, around last year or the year before. I just KNOW we are pulled together as we are with our common interests and passions for a reason. There's no way we're going to these things as Christians who love cosplay and anime and what not just by chance or for fun. I really do think we're meant for witnessing and showing God's love to a mission field so deprived...

    And it's sad, cause there's also not many willing to witness. Really just our generation, in an even smaller quota of Christians w/in anime, which is super rare it seems like. Older generations, even Christians, probably look a cosplayers/anime nerds or whatever as "weird" or I've even heard them say "Satanic" or they're just complacent and don't see them as a mission field. But they are just as much of a mission field as third world countries, if not MORE so (though I don't think mission fields should be compared or anything), but people at conventions or in cosplay or that love anime, are soooo they blinded by sin and their worldly desires, it's overwhelming...

    I'm always so inspired to be a witness and a shining light, and Vic really pushed me to that point where I just knew "Yes, this is what I'm meant to do; with my time in life right now, God is wanting me to definitely witness to them."

    I also hate, hate how I can act sometimes too... Judging girls at conventions if they're dressed a certain way, whether they are wearing really revealing clothing or if they aren't "cosplay accurate". Even if I just think it, I feel bad; God is our ultimate Judge, who are we to judge others? And you're right; she probably wants someone's love or genuine care, for why would she be putting herself out there so much anyway? She probably feels lonely or desperate...

    I think if we catch ourselves judging other girls verbally we need to hold one another accountable and either change the subject or outright get onto one another lol. It'll be good training, cause if we're constantly doing that at conventions we're putting up more and more judgmental walls that we need to be breaking down to witness efficiently.

    I love you, Mattie, and am soooo blessed we have the same conviction! :D <3

    And yes! My day after the fast was amazzzzing too. Haha, God really does bless you if you give up something for Him. Even though I struggled a lot and broke it some, I never just allowed myself to give up entirely. I'm proud of myself, it's a good feeling; and all the food I had tasted soooo amazing, like eating it for the first time, haha.

    Love you girl!

  2. I feel so new and refreshed, like re-born almost. Just such a happy disposition. I think we should make up like bags or something, I still have my cupcake baggies. Maybe put like treats and scripture, uplifting scripture. Everyone loves goodie bags and even if they just read it once, it'll be with them, even if they throw away that part, you know?

    And I was going to see if I could get something from Becky's ministry to put inside of them. *haven't asked Becky yet, but Becky if you see this I'll get with ya! ;D*

    I'm very excited about this, not only at conventions, but everywhere we should be a light for God. There was one time I was at Walmart, and I've never shared this before, I was looking at clothes. An African American older lady looked dirty and raggedy, came up to me and asked me for money. I truly didn't have money but I could have totally pulled it out of the atm, but I told her I didn't have any. And she walked off... then I decided to catch up with her and pull some out of the atm, but she was no where to be found. Vanished. Looking back on it.. I believe it was an angel or something, a test. And I had failed.

    Sometimes I feel like I get so wrapped up with worldy things. I use to question God and death and everything. And I confess I'm not the greatest Christian right now.. I need start walking down the right path. I've started paying tithe, I need to start being an obedient daughter, and a better person. I love to give, I honestly do, but sometimes greed takes over out of no where. "What will you get out of that?" "No one will know you did that?" "You won't get anything honor for it." I need to pass that all aside and give freely and willingly. I need to wake up and die to myself everyday. And immerse myself in the Word, study it, and hide it in my heart.

    I love you Meghan! :D I'm excited about this.