Sunday, March 4, 2012

I want to be a princess when I grow up.

I always have :3

I'm just so frustrated and stressed out, and it's mostly over things I do have control over. Grades and my weight. It always comes down to these things.

A) I don't study enough = low grades. And I missed a test (last week) which has me falling into a depression and also a low grade. I'm counting on getting all A's this semester (to boost my GPA) and now, well, that's out the window. (No makeup tests)

B) I'm a obsessive compulsive eater. Sometimes I feel like I have to eat something and I'm not even hungry. Or when I start eating something, I have to eat all of it, whether it's a small box of something or a huge bag of something. I've even confronted my mom about it and she says, "You got your eating habits when I was in school. I was so tired after working and going to school full time, that I just let you do whatever." I don't blame her.... well most of the time, THANKS MOM. But I'm a grown up and I need to control myself.

But lately I've been kind of depressed about cosplaying even though I sound excited. Don't get me wrong I am excited, I'm just criticizing myself and comparing myself to others. I actually just have been feeling really low about my personal appearance overall. Since I go to the daycare, then to nannying, then back to the daycare like everyday I don't really dress nice and I've let go of myself. I don't have time to workout, study, time to myself, or even time to see my family. I'm lucky to even sleep.

I feel like I have way WAY too much on my plate. At this point, nothing seems worthwhile. I cannot wait till Spring Break, even though I will still be working, I'll have a break from school work, which seems to never end. O.O And maybe I can also not have to work so much... get a break too. Bwhahaha, I know, that's funny. Well only like 9 more weeks left of school, it'll probably zoom by super fast.

I'm glad I got to see everyone this weekend! The party and then today church/eating/goodwill. It was a lot of fun! I had a lot of fun! :3 I wish we could hang out more often. Spring Break, we should do something big, well, fun. Haha.


  1. YAY! XD I'm glad you had a great time Mattie and don't worry so much about the things in life,it's all in God's Hands and he's always in control. :) Love you girl and I'll keep praying for you! Thank you for all the presents,omhe(don't think I spelt that right lol XD) cake,and finding the MAGICAL pillowcase! *__* Love it all and love you the most! ;D Hope to see you again soon! God bless you Mattie.

    With love and prayers,
    Becky! 0.< <3

  2. P.S. The Lord of the Rings pic is so great!BAHA XD