Sunday, April 24, 2011

Who do you think you are?

"Running around leaving scars. Collecting your jar of hearts, and tearing love apart. You're gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul. So don't come back for me, who do you think you are?"

Random Fact about me: I love lilies, especially Easter lilie :3

Because I thought a comment would be too long, ha ha.

Meghan: Yeah, I've tried to call them out on things before, doesn't really work. That makes them even more mad. I just try to suck it up, take it, and make sure I do my chores. I mean, they don't say it to me a lot. I'm generally a good kid and don't get into trouble, but when I do, they pull out that as a weapon. It just sucks really bad and puts me in a bad mood...

I can give things up cold turkey and not even want them. But if I just let myself have one piece of candy here I won't be able to stop myself. It's like when a shark smells blood or however that analogy goes. Mmmm yes, I love strawberries. And apples, and bananas, and blackberries, and raspberries, pretty much all fruit! I've stalked up on that most def. I really shouldn't even be drinking soda because caffeine gives me migraines, so I've been doing those Clear America, the sparkling water stuff? Mmmm, pineapple coconut is my favvvvvv.

I know, I have a huge image/appearance issue. It's been worse than ever, the past couple of years... but I've come a long way. After high school I gained probably about 40/50 pounds. I was miserable and depressed. I weighed 210 pounds and right now I can say that I weigh 175 pounds. That's 35, just in case you didn't feel like doing the math. Don't get me wrong, I am so happy. This is the most happiest I've ever been in my life, not because of my weight loss, but also because of the wonderful people I have in my life. My weight was becoming a problem, I had horrible blood circulation and my limbs would go to sleep and what not, I'd get short to breath easily, and just felt tired all the time. I'd tell myself, when I'm super skinny everyone will want to hang with me, guys will love me, and life will be better.

I know none of that is true, I was just fooling myself. But now, I'm really doing it for me. I just want to be healthy. I mean sure, if I was to get smaller I'd be so happy to fit in the latest designer what not, but I want to be fit. For my future husband and children and what not. I want to loose more weight, but for me. So I can be physically fit.

And since I've been doing this little "diet and exercise" for A-Kon (and all the other conventions) I just feel better about myself. I wake up in the morning and just feel better about myself. I'm actively doing something about it and getting results.

I can't wait til the summer, next week, it's May >.<
P.S. People didn't recoginze me at church today with my wig on XP lol

Just comparing my face, a now and then kindofathing. O.O lol

 I have awesome pigments in my eyes! YEAH! My Optometrist told me so.


  1. *hugs* I love you Mattie! :) I just wanted to give ya' some advice and remind you that you are beautiful just as you are! But of course, getting even more fit and healthy and wanting to look your best is never wrong. It does feel good to personally just love yourself and work for yourself, as well as working for your future to be better and healthier.

    BTW. I love your Easter outfit! and wig! :'O Gorggeeooousss.

    Love ya'! <3

  2. lols Meghan, I was trying to be vintage-ish! <3

    Thank you, you always cheer me up. >.<