Saturday, April 23, 2011

I am the hero!

I had some candy.
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I already feel bad and I don't wanna eat 12 donuts. Please forgive me Cheryl! I'm gonna work out lots tonight before I go to bed. Just lots. And lots tomorrow. Blahhhh.

Okay okay okay. I don't know if this ever happens to you, but when my parents are upset with me they always you the "you could move out" card. And it really hurts my feelings... they've been doing that a lot lately, like I'll say "Geeez, Ambri's so annoying" "Well, no one said you had to live here." It kind of makes me feel like they want me out. You don't know how much I want to be out. But I have no where to go, I cannot support myself, and I'm still in school and have a long way till graduating. I know they might be stressed out or whatever, but still. I hate it so much.

I'm kinda just bummed today. I wanna go get some manga.

I did, however, get a new Easter outfit! I love it. It's so pretty and elegant. It makes me feel classy! And I'm also going to wear my wig to church because I hate my hair and it makes me feel even prettier! lol XD


  1. Aww, I'm sorry to hear your parents are like that, Mattie :( My parents sort of do that with me discouragingly too, not necessarily in the "you could move out way" since I'm living in the dorms, but, just in other ways I don't appreciate. Like mainly "joking and teasing", but really, it hurts my feelings. It's also hard to call your parents out on doing that too, considering they're older and they'll usually deny anything they said.

    Sometimes it's just about putting up with what they say and almost tuning it out :/ They may also be bitter/sad thinking about you leaving the house one day and living elsewhere, and they'll miss you a whole lot, so they almost use reverse psychology to make YOU feel bad.

    Also, I wouldn't try to FORCE yourself to ENTIRELY give up things like sugar/candy (unless it's like a spiritually driven thing, like your fast was, usually that gives you more strength). Inevitably, you'll want to binge by eating it. I've done that before :/ Mainly with giving up soda. I'd try to give up ALL soda, completely, cold turkey. But then I'd just crave and crave and would get weak and ultimately make-up for all that "lost soda" in merely a day.

    A good way to slowly ween away from foods you don't want to eat is just that; do it slowly. Make it to where you don't want to eat candy, but at first, you only eat candy/sweets maybe once a week. Or twice a week. Don't deny yourself it entirely or else you'll crave it that much more. You'll slowly train your body that you won't need it/want since you're having it less often, and you won't crave it. You may not even think about it, and THAT'S when you'll stop having it almost entirely. And when it does come about, you'll be able to have self-control more. Or, when you're craving sweets, replace that craving with something else; strawberries are sweet tasting but way healthier.

    I hope that helped some. :) Instead of beating yourself down about eating candy or trying to rip it from yourself entirely, just work on it steadily. It's a much much easier and healthier way to go about things anyway. ^^;; And easy is always nice, haha!

  2. Mattie its ok!! ;_; I've eaten candy too. >< buuuhhh.... haha!! oh wells, we will just keep working hard. :D and I agree with meghan too, maybe getting rid of our sweets in small amounts is better. :)

    And Im sorry to hear that about your parents too. :( My moms plaid that card on me before too, or actaully used the card in a different way like, I'm moveing if you drop out of UCO, and you'll have to live on your own. @_@ I dont get why parents are like that some times. I think either maybe they are just in a bad mood that day and take it out on us, or like what meghan said, reverse psycology or something, or they might be trying to control you like what my moms done to me. either way its not nice... and Im sorry. *hugs* some day we are gonna get an appartment together!! It will happen! and we can stay up and watch anime all night! lol! XD ^__^ love you mattie!!