Saturday, November 26, 2011
Feel the heat.
Just what I needed to see. A bunch of skinny awesome asian dancers right after I have stuffed my face for the past two days... I wanna join a boot camp or something. XD
Hahaha, I've been super stressed it hit me last night. My final is speeding closer to me and I really don't know much. I mean it's the same material I know the basics, but I mean with these take home tests it's not like you learn too much. Take home tests are like a huge worksheet. I'm also just super stressed because it's like even if I make an A my gpa will be 2.49 and not a 2.5 like I need. I just wanna quit. I wish I could start all over... I've been thinking about going through the CNA program, seeing if that will boost my grades... or maybe even taking Physiology and Anatomy (AGAIN) next semester. >.> I'd probably be killing myself, slowly. I hate myself because I don't crack books, it's a horrible habit I have. I've had it from high school because they DO NOT prepare you for college like they say they're suppose to. If I do choose to take courses next semester I think they'll be night time classes. I just want to break down and cry. I feel like such a failure and I feel like I don't have anywhere to go. It's a big ball of stress and failure just inside of me and I can't let it go. Uhhhhhhhhgh.
If I were to take any classes over again, it'd have to be A&P, because I just couldn't do Micro again, blehh. And I already have all the books, I really need to talk to my counselor.
I still have a paper to write, but I think I'll do that later this coming week while I'm school having nothing to do. XP OH and the picture of the white horse totally looks like mine! <3
Will you think little of me if I do repeat? Does it make me stupider if I do retake Anatomy for the fourth time? Physio the second? I'm also worried that if I do, what will ppl at work say. I already said that I could work full time, but now everything might change. I'm worried that they'll hate me. I'm worried that my parents/friends will think I'm a failure. Why can't I just do it right the first time? I do feel like a failure.