Sorry, I was just being swallowed by a huge dark pit the other day. It seemed like when you swim out to far at the ocean or a lake, and you get tired and you're trying to keep your head up. Then you're trying to fight the waves your thinking all you want to do is give up but you know if you do you'll just sink and go under. Your lungs, arms, and legs are burning and there seems to be no life raft around. Such imagery. I suppose finals can do that to a person. But your comments really cheered me up. You know it's not too late. I have a high C/low B in this class, that's not with the lab portion put into it. I also have a paper due and the lab final/lec final. If I apply myself, I could pull out of this class with a B. I think I could do that. After this semester I think I'm going to go to my counsler and ask what she thinks would be the best option. My mom said I really need to ask myself is this what I want to do:
Yes. Sometimes I can't stand the blood... it does freak me out a bit. But I can handle it. I really think I should be helping someone. I love to give and if I could change someone's life, even in the littlest way, that would be amazing. I know I need a better relationship with God, honestly I've been thinking about Vic and how he was saying "I don't even know you." I've been really thinking about that, do I have a relationship like that with God. I want to better my relationship, I really do. And share that with others through my work. Even if I could just spread the love of God with a touch, a smile.
I know, by any means, I'm not the best student. I hardly crack books (which is probably my greatest down fall), I hate reading text books (yet again) but I love this material. I do like learning about it. But you know, three more weeks till finals. That's 21 days to prep myself to freakin' own this test. I'm going to have to break myself down, tear myself a part, and get on it. I've been thinking about deleting my facebook. I mean besides talking to all you guys, there really isn't anything there for me. It just takes up too much of my time.. You know? I might just step away for a while.
I also need to step back up and hop aboard the fitness train. XP Even though it's getting colder outside, I need to add exercising back to my routine. And uh! I just love the winter. I'm so glad it's almost December. I love December. lol
I watched Lord of the Rings Return of the King last night while I was babysitting, mmmm I love Orlando Bloom. But you know, most of the guys in those movies are pretty darn good looking. lol I don't know, there's just something about blonde, elfen guys who can shoot a bow <3 ROFL
I'm about to photo bomb you, but I just kept on finding such good pictures >.< Thank you guys for being awesome amazing friends who truley care about me. I can seriously call you gals my best friends, and I really haven't been able to say that about anyone else. Love you!