Tuesday, June 21, 2011
"We can make forever to feel this way."
I am about to rant, so if you don't want to hear anyone complain about their day, than skip right on to the photos.
Tired. I am tired of working at the daycare. It's bogus. Most of us feel this way too. It's not fun anymore, the kids treat us like dirt and pretty much get a slap on the wrist for it and sent on their way, with these different inspectors coming it's like we're being corrected and what not. I'm kept over when we close and don't see anything from it. The kids are ungrateful. I always ALWAYS have to be on my feet. I don't even think I used the restroom today. I'm sorry for having a pity party, I really am, but I'm almost to the point where I'm going to burst. Either with tears or anger, kind of like Azula when she's chained down. That's exactly how I feel right now, arms chained down and there's nothing I can do about it. Stressed.
And when you're stressed with one thing you start feeling depressed about the other things that are in the back of your head. Like the fact that I'm 21 and I have nothing to show for myself. I feel like a loser, I still live with my parents, don't have a degree, don't have a good job, and yeah. I mean I know a lot of people I graduated with are already graduated from college, off into their careers, and traveling the world.
Weight is always a constant issue on my mind. But I've been swimming laps, sit ups, and watching what I eat lately. But with this stress it has kinda made me turn to food for comfort without me realizing it sometimes. I think I need to start jogging or walking or running, something to that effect.
TnT so close but so far away. I'm ready for another trip away from reality. 3 weeks and 3 days. Oh man. I'm suppose to get off work early tomorrow, I hope it still stands true. I really want to come home and spend some time with my family.... like take a nap with the kids! Hahaha! We just got inside from swimming, however it didn't start out that we were gonna swim. I got the urge and while still in my jean shorts and shirt I jumped in. The kids followed suit. It was loads of fun and I think it wore them out. The firework stand opened up yesterday O.O looks like I know what I'm gonna do sooner or later. Fireworks are so fun, pretty, and magical.
I keep on having weird dreams about having kids or being pregnant or not having a good relationship with the "baby daddy" / "husband" it's kind of freaking me out. But honestly I'm going to give credit to working at the daycare all day. That's probably what's doing it. XP
This is my bed right now, yes you may make fun of me or think of me as a slob, whatever. I sleep on the left side and my clothes lay on the right side. I am way too lazy to fold them or hang them up. Like I was saying to Cheryl I have to be in the right mood to fold, like a folding mood. Though I think if my mom were to see this she might tell me to do it or get mad. Thank goodness no one really comes into my room.
A couple of things I have in common with Azula: I torture animals. Not turtleducks, but ants. I like to stick gum down their tunnels, XD haha. Then the next day I check it out to see if they successfully dug their tunnel back. And I'm not to smooth around guys, "Cause it's sharp." Yeah, -face palm- I'm not smooth around guys, that's like my line. Geeez.