Saturday, July 28, 2012

// Castle Walls //

I'm just saying Asami better have it SO much better this next season.

There's a phrase that I've heard my whole life and lately quite often. "Golden child." First amongst my siblings, then from Jacque, then from P. It's almost like they're play joking around with me but I honestly feel like they really hate it or me. It's hard to explain.... like how P favors me and has been kind of short and mean to Jacque. Even Jacque's mom said "It's because P's golden child is leaving." Then P was saying that I could get away with anything in Felicia's eyes because I'm her golden child. Brant and Rhiannon have always called me a golden child, my whole life.

Well it's getting on my nerves and it's beginning to hurt. Sometimes I don't know who to trust anymore. Like things I say will be repeated or twisted. Or used against me. Or that I'm being judged every step. Honestly, people don't know me as well as they think they do.

"It's so empty living behind these castle walls."

This last week was such a blur, it was basically: work, sleep. I can't believe it's been a week since TnT! It seriously doesn't seem like it! I feel like I was just there. And soon it won't be long until I set off on my journey. Two weeks and six days to be exact. I'm nervous of course. But I'm excited. To leave everything behind and rediscover myself. I really need that... more or less now days I'm a few strings from falling apart. I need some time to run away and devote it to myself and God. And a plus is that I will be spoiled ;)

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