Thursday, April 12, 2012

Eucalyptus mint :3

I am lost.

I don't know what to do and I feel like I'm being pulled in all different directions. As you may or may not know, the lady I nanny for is moving to Maryland/Washington D.C. Her husband is having to do rotations there in order to become a surgeon/doctor. So she'll need someone to watch the baby, seeing that she'll be working full time as a OBGYN (doctor) as well.

Here's where I come in. They're moving in August, they'll be gone for five years, but since I won't be doing anything this coming fall, they want me to stay from August to December. They're even looking for a house that will have a room just for me... I honestly don't know what to do or what to say.

Yes, it'd be awesome to go away and do something totally different and out of the norm, but I'd get so homesick and miss my family/friends. I mean, there are tons of positives like they have a car I can drive, I'll get paid being there, I won't have to pay for anything but my own personal stuff... but I'll be stuck on the other side of the United States, they'll be at work all day and I'll be at the house all day with the baby, by myself.

My mom said I should go ahead and do it, that I won't ever get another chance to do something like this. That it's only for four months.. she said she'll be sad that I'm gone but happy that I'm doing something new.

I just don't know.. and I need to tell them soon because they're looking for a house. I just feel so stressed.. like a ball of stress/anxiety balling up in my throat. Buhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

1 comment:

  1. I kinda' told you everything I think already... but, I think it's really just about what you want to do, you know? What do you feel like in your gut you want to do? I know it's scary, I know it's a lot of change, a big change, all at once, but it could be good for you, too. New sites, new sounds, new environment, away from the daycare, etc... As well as the convenience of it a lot of it being paid for, free rent, so on and so forth.

    but I do understand homesickness can be really rough, and getting used to a whole new place away from friends and family. It would definitely be a drop into a world you don't really know at all, but that can also be the beauty of it; you can shape yourself and become more of who you want to be by allowing such change to happen in your life.

    Don't make yourself go though just because of outside pressure; DON'T GO if you don't want to. It's YOUR decision. And if you decide to not have this little adventure, that does not mean that another opportunity will be right down the lane. Going or not going, this can be a moment to help you see what it is you want to do, and what it is you want for yourself.

    I hope that helped... or something, lol.

    I know it's a hard decision to make and hearing advice like this can get old or you get desensitized to it since it can all sound the same. I just want you to know that if you do go, it is temporary and that we WILL NOT FORGET YOU (referring to that picture you posted here). Heck, we will freaking miss you everyday and be sad.. But this is something you need to do and decide for yourself. Don't let anyone else make that decision for you. Whether it means going or not going, don't allow yourself to do something you regret because it wasn't what you truly WANTED to do, you know?

    I freaking love you Mattie, seriously. You're amazing, and you always will be, and will only keep getting MORE amazing. I can't wait to see you soon!