Saturday, July 28, 2012
// Castle Walls //
I'm just saying Asami better have it SO much better this next season.
There's a phrase that I've heard my whole life and lately quite often. "Golden child." First amongst my siblings, then from Jacque, then from P. It's almost like they're play joking around with me but I honestly feel like they really hate it or me. It's hard to explain.... like how P favors me and has been kind of short and mean to Jacque. Even Jacque's mom said "It's because P's golden child is leaving." Then P was saying that I could get away with anything in Felicia's eyes because I'm her golden child. Brant and Rhiannon have always called me a golden child, my whole life.
Well it's getting on my nerves and it's beginning to hurt. Sometimes I don't know who to trust anymore. Like things I say will be repeated or twisted. Or used against me. Or that I'm being judged every step. Honestly, people don't know me as well as they think they do.
"It's so empty living behind these castle walls."
This last week was such a blur, it was basically: work, sleep. I can't believe it's been a week since TnT! It seriously doesn't seem like it! I feel like I was just there. And soon it won't be long until I set off on my journey. Two weeks and six days to be exact. I'm nervous of course. But I'm excited. To leave everything behind and rediscover myself. I really need that... more or less now days I'm a few strings from falling apart. I need some time to run away and devote it to myself and God. And a plus is that I will be spoiled ;)
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Crazy dream.
"All signals have gone dead. We can't find any station." The whole room was silent. The chief sat still and within a moments notice started planning. "If they need our help, we will stand at the ready. Get the ships ready, get the foot army ready and armed." When he got done saying this he stood and everyone else rose up after him and scurried about. I couldn't move and I didn't want to. I couldn't imagine what was happening to Republic City. All of those people...
I snapped right out of my daydream when I noticed him staring at me. "Sir, Master Awa has sent me with an urgent reply. The healers have made the proper provisions necessary. We are waiting for your command." I felt like I opened my mouth and all the words fell out all at once. I know my face was pale white at this point, my hands were shaking, I was afraid. The cold silence was cut in half by the chief's warm hand that landed on my shoulder. "Corina, thank you. As Awa's best student I know I can put all my trust in you." His face held a warm smile but as he turned to walk out it faded into worry.
I turned on my heel to get back and pack the necessary things needed for this war and standing arms folded near the door was my best friend Laan. I always envied his strength. He has always been a better waterbender than I but I was always the better healer. Growing up he always teased me about it and poked fun about how I was timid and shy. Though I know now he doesn't mean any of that, I still guard my feelings around him. I don't want to seem weak and scared, even though right now I'm fighting to keep a confident facade on as I walk towards him. "Hey." He punched me lightly in my shoulder. "Everything will be alright." He smiled down at me and I returned the smile. I smacked his hand off as it was now resting on my shoulder. "I know." I said in a sing song tune. I moved the pelt out of the way and we both walked outside to the bright sunlight. It was the middle of the day.
Walking down the street one wouldn't be able to tell that these crazy things were going on. People scurried to and fro like normal. Kids played in the yards, the old lady running the tea shop watered her flowers, and people sat outside at the tables eating their lunches. Just like any other day. Of course we know about Amon and the equalist, what they have set out to do, and what could possibly happen. But Republic City is so far away... we never thought it would get out of hand. Now without any word from any of the councilmen or police chief, who knows what is going on.
"Yo man! We're going to go down to the outer wall, wanna come?" I don't like most of Laan's guy friends. They're really selfish and even though great women like Katara have pushed women's rights they still believe women are really only for healing.. and I guess I just prove their point even more. The three of them came closer towards us. "Corina, you can come too. I can show you some new moves I mastered." I can't believe guys like this still exist... I rolled my eyes and looked the other way to catch a solider walking through town towards the main gate. I almost let my mind get off of my mission. "Laan, I can meet back up with you. I just need to gather some things... so I will see you back here in a bit?" He nodded, as I continued to walk down the familiar street I could here laughter and teasing.
I guess I've always felt like a burden on him... I know his friends make fun of him for hanging around with me. I'm not anything special... sigh. To speed things up I jumped into the free flowing water and slid down it all the way home. The cool crisp air stung my cheeks while my hood fell off of my head letting my hair whip wildly in the wind. The water cradled my feet propelling me forward. At moments like these I feel so free, like nothing can touch me. Like nothing matters. I jumped out of the canal and back onto the sidewalk. My Nana was outside tending to her garden. I walked up the sidewalk and she came out to meet me. "Never would I have thought that my grand children would have to suit up for war." Tears were welling up in her eyes. Growing up she told me many stories about the fire nation's rein and take over. But this seems nothing like that. I smiled and kissed her head. "Nana, I'll be fine." I walked quickly inside to be met by my mother. She was sobbing. "Ahh, mom, don't." I rushed over to her.
"I already put together a small bag for you. I put bandages, a pouch of water, and...." she started to trail off and chatter and fumble with the things in her hand. "Thank you." I took the bag out of her hand. "Having you and your father leave, it's going to be different around here." I kept checking the time, we had strict orders to be out by the front gate right as the sun was straight up. She saw me checking my time and settled herself down. "Please be safe." "You know I will, and we will be back as soon as you know it." She took me in her arms and held tightly. I opened the door and walked back down the path. I hugged my Nana goodbye as well and hopped back onto the water highway. Tears rolled down my cheeks as my house went further and further away from me. It was finally time to board the ships and face this terror.
I whipped back to the corner of the intersection and searched for Laan. Hmmm... I twirled around in my spot searching for him in the crowd. I spotted a bench nearby and sat down. Where could he be, we don't have anytime to lolly gag around. We need to be there now and report to our commanding officers right away. I sighed deeply. A light rain had started, it was beautiful and calming. I watched it fall from the clouds and down into the snow below my feet. Across the street a guy bended an umbrella over his girlfriend's head... how sweet. Hrmmm, sweet. I could feel myself being jealous.
A few more minutes passed by, seriously, what could he be doing. I stood up and started walking for the front gate. "You didn't give up on me did you?" I spun around to find myself starring up into his face. He obviously ran the whole way, he gasped between each word. "Take my hand, we can get there faster if we take the canal." He held his hand out and I took it without questioning him.
His waterbending is much different from mine. It's so firm, swift, constant. I could feel that not only through the water around us but through the power of his hand. I squeezed tighter as we blitzed through the city splashing the occasional person along the way. Times like these I wish would never end. The wind blurs out all sound, the rain blurs out everything around us, and things seem peaceful.
The main gate is getting close in sight, Laan lets go of my hand and fancily jumps out of the canal. Of course he does... I gracefully leap out of the canal and slide on the ground. I looked back at his face, smiling, but I wasn't met with one in return. Getting together with the rest of the troops, reality slapped me hard. "Attention: soldiers over here, first and second line waterbenders meet over here, and healers meet here." Straight to it, I see. I turned over to Laan who was already being grouped up with the waterbenders. There was even a strong beautiful girl with him too.. I feel so petty and lame being like this.. I managed to catch his attention and waved at him. He waved back.
I sat next to the other healers in a make shift tent. Master Awa was up at the front and she was going over the game plan. What our job was during and after the battle. What we needed to be prepared for and what we needed to be aware of. "Corina, please stand up." I was snapped out of my daydream and stood straight up. "She will lead the third craft. Davin will lead the second craft. I will lead the first craft. Make sure you all have the supplies needed."
"Third craft come to me please. Hurry." We all exchanged herbs, bandages. I made sure all the healers under me were fully equipped. "You all have ten minutes until it's time to board the ship. Make all of your goodbyes short and sweet. We will fight soon to keep our loved ones un-harmed." They all stared at me, pumped and thrilled. We all threw our hands in and threw them back out, as we disassembled we tapped each others shoulders. I knew this group really well, we all trained and learned together. I wouldn't want it any other way. I watched as others went up and said goodbye to loved ones. I knew I wouldn't be able to find my father, he'd already be on a ship. Mom and Nana wouldn't come out here and I don't blame them. I smiled as I looked over the Northern Watertribe. This glorious crystal city sparkles under the sun. I couldn't bare to see it fall.
At that instant I was grabbed and spun around. Everyone else was let out to say their final goodbyes as well. Laan, followed by his friends, found me. You could definitely tell the jock type waterbender guys, they were wolf calling to get prepared for this battle. I stepped back to get out of the way, I didn't want to get smashed from their roughness. "Good luck Corina." Right by my side was the beautiful, chocolate haired, waterbender. She was a bit taller than I and had bright blue eyes. I smiled and shook her hand, "You too. Be safe." Be safe, that's stupid. Why would I say that? I could totally face palm right now... but she didn't seem phased by it. She walked off and I turned right into Laan.
"Which ship do they have you on?" "I'm on the third craft... you?" "First.." He watched and waited for my reaction.. The first ship. The first ship to the battle, the first to shoot the cannons, the first to fight. My heart was racing. "Don't worry about me, I don't know what I would do if you weren't safe." My eyes widened and I stared up into his deep blue eyes. I collapsed into his arms that wrapped around me. He whispered into my ear, "I know sometimes you feel like you don't matter, I felt it through your waterbending, like you don't amount to much. But Corina, you mean the world to me. You are the stars in my night sky." I was speechless. Time froze. The rain froze. All sound was hushed. There wasn't a war in my heart anymore. He pulled me back. At that instant I dug through my bag and pulled out an herb. "It might not help much, but this beautiful blossom can help wounds... and..." I pulled out a vile of herbal water and also handed it to him. "It's actually my own blend and contains a lot of healing properties." I worked a smile through my blush. He fumbled out a package from his belt. It was wrapped in a blue leather and it made it's way to my hands. "You didn't have to get me anyth..." "Shh, just open it already." I could tell he was anxious. At this moment I could see a couple of other people around us, including the beautiful girl.
I untied the knot and slowly unwrapped the leather. A smaller piece of leather, a light blue was inside, it... it was a strap? No.. it was a necklace? Noooo. My eyes fluttered up to him and back at the gift. Quickly back to him. "I know it's old fashioned and the tradition has changed a bit... but I know you really appreciate our culture and ..." I could tell he was finding his words. "Corina you are not like any other person I've met. You're beautiful on the inside and out. Your spirit is healing itself... just being with you I feel like my soul is being healed. You never do anything for yourself, you always put others in front of you. This may seem sudden and I don't need any anwser right now, but I love you and I want spend the rest of my life with you." He reached for the betrothal neckalce in my hand and tied it around my neck. I grabbed the hand carved charm around my neck and held it tightly.
"First rank follow in!" It was like being ripped away from a dream. I kept a grip on this charm to make sure everything is real. I didn't want him to let go... He stared into my eyes.. "FIRST RANK, NOW." He was about to peal away and follow in and I put my hand on his face, "Yes." He smiled and rested his forehead on mine. Then splashed me with water. I could see his smile as he ran off and fell in line. Then came second and then it was my time. We boarded the ship and got into our spots. What was probably forever only seems a few short minutes. I was in a daze.
One of the ships finally got a hold of the General Iroh. Soon we could start to see Republic City on the horizon... and barely off in the distance a huge statue of Avatar Aang.. it was eerie.. there were burning ships in the harbor and smoke rose off the city.. something on the waves. Was it.... a boat?
The boat came right in front of our small fleet when it exploded. It shook the boats and left a ring in my ears. I looked over board but couldn't find anything on the dark waters. Soon pieces of wood floated by.. the gas was on fire on top of the water. I searched for anyone anybody.. is it a trap? My heart leapt and before I knew it I dove into the water. I worked the water around my body to propel myself towards this floating figure. I got to this body which turned out to be a man. I grabbed hold of him and as soon as I did he grabbed tightly onto me. "Please someone I need help!" I screamed out to the ships as I searched for any others amongst the wreckage. Some of the waterbenders met me a top of their ship as I slung me and this man up with all of my power. I didn't recognize the man as I started to perform on him. I started CPR and waited for his heartbeat. I quickly reached for water and started to try and heal the cuts and burns of his face.
As I put my hands over his face I could feel his muscles relax and his blood stream flow. His heart became steady as well as his breathing. His eyes slowly started to open and everyone came in closer. "Get back, stay back." I threw my hands up motioning everyone away. I leaned closer into him... "What is your name?"
AND bam! I woke up. And I think it was Noatok XP What a crazy dream :3
I snapped right out of my daydream when I noticed him staring at me. "Sir, Master Awa has sent me with an urgent reply. The healers have made the proper provisions necessary. We are waiting for your command." I felt like I opened my mouth and all the words fell out all at once. I know my face was pale white at this point, my hands were shaking, I was afraid. The cold silence was cut in half by the chief's warm hand that landed on my shoulder. "Corina, thank you. As Awa's best student I know I can put all my trust in you." His face held a warm smile but as he turned to walk out it faded into worry.
I turned on my heel to get back and pack the necessary things needed for this war and standing arms folded near the door was my best friend Laan. I always envied his strength. He has always been a better waterbender than I but I was always the better healer. Growing up he always teased me about it and poked fun about how I was timid and shy. Though I know now he doesn't mean any of that, I still guard my feelings around him. I don't want to seem weak and scared, even though right now I'm fighting to keep a confident facade on as I walk towards him. "Hey." He punched me lightly in my shoulder. "Everything will be alright." He smiled down at me and I returned the smile. I smacked his hand off as it was now resting on my shoulder. "I know." I said in a sing song tune. I moved the pelt out of the way and we both walked outside to the bright sunlight. It was the middle of the day.
Walking down the street one wouldn't be able to tell that these crazy things were going on. People scurried to and fro like normal. Kids played in the yards, the old lady running the tea shop watered her flowers, and people sat outside at the tables eating their lunches. Just like any other day. Of course we know about Amon and the equalist, what they have set out to do, and what could possibly happen. But Republic City is so far away... we never thought it would get out of hand. Now without any word from any of the councilmen or police chief, who knows what is going on.
"Yo man! We're going to go down to the outer wall, wanna come?" I don't like most of Laan's guy friends. They're really selfish and even though great women like Katara have pushed women's rights they still believe women are really only for healing.. and I guess I just prove their point even more. The three of them came closer towards us. "Corina, you can come too. I can show you some new moves I mastered." I can't believe guys like this still exist... I rolled my eyes and looked the other way to catch a solider walking through town towards the main gate. I almost let my mind get off of my mission. "Laan, I can meet back up with you. I just need to gather some things... so I will see you back here in a bit?" He nodded, as I continued to walk down the familiar street I could here laughter and teasing.
I guess I've always felt like a burden on him... I know his friends make fun of him for hanging around with me. I'm not anything special... sigh. To speed things up I jumped into the free flowing water and slid down it all the way home. The cool crisp air stung my cheeks while my hood fell off of my head letting my hair whip wildly in the wind. The water cradled my feet propelling me forward. At moments like these I feel so free, like nothing can touch me. Like nothing matters. I jumped out of the canal and back onto the sidewalk. My Nana was outside tending to her garden. I walked up the sidewalk and she came out to meet me. "Never would I have thought that my grand children would have to suit up for war." Tears were welling up in her eyes. Growing up she told me many stories about the fire nation's rein and take over. But this seems nothing like that. I smiled and kissed her head. "Nana, I'll be fine." I walked quickly inside to be met by my mother. She was sobbing. "Ahh, mom, don't." I rushed over to her.
"I already put together a small bag for you. I put bandages, a pouch of water, and...." she started to trail off and chatter and fumble with the things in her hand. "Thank you." I took the bag out of her hand. "Having you and your father leave, it's going to be different around here." I kept checking the time, we had strict orders to be out by the front gate right as the sun was straight up. She saw me checking my time and settled herself down. "Please be safe." "You know I will, and we will be back as soon as you know it." She took me in her arms and held tightly. I opened the door and walked back down the path. I hugged my Nana goodbye as well and hopped back onto the water highway. Tears rolled down my cheeks as my house went further and further away from me. It was finally time to board the ships and face this terror.
I whipped back to the corner of the intersection and searched for Laan. Hmmm... I twirled around in my spot searching for him in the crowd. I spotted a bench nearby and sat down. Where could he be, we don't have anytime to lolly gag around. We need to be there now and report to our commanding officers right away. I sighed deeply. A light rain had started, it was beautiful and calming. I watched it fall from the clouds and down into the snow below my feet. Across the street a guy bended an umbrella over his girlfriend's head... how sweet. Hrmmm, sweet. I could feel myself being jealous.
A few more minutes passed by, seriously, what could he be doing. I stood up and started walking for the front gate. "You didn't give up on me did you?" I spun around to find myself starring up into his face. He obviously ran the whole way, he gasped between each word. "Take my hand, we can get there faster if we take the canal." He held his hand out and I took it without questioning him.
His waterbending is much different from mine. It's so firm, swift, constant. I could feel that not only through the water around us but through the power of his hand. I squeezed tighter as we blitzed through the city splashing the occasional person along the way. Times like these I wish would never end. The wind blurs out all sound, the rain blurs out everything around us, and things seem peaceful.
The main gate is getting close in sight, Laan lets go of my hand and fancily jumps out of the canal. Of course he does... I gracefully leap out of the canal and slide on the ground. I looked back at his face, smiling, but I wasn't met with one in return. Getting together with the rest of the troops, reality slapped me hard. "Attention: soldiers over here, first and second line waterbenders meet over here, and healers meet here." Straight to it, I see. I turned over to Laan who was already being grouped up with the waterbenders. There was even a strong beautiful girl with him too.. I feel so petty and lame being like this.. I managed to catch his attention and waved at him. He waved back.
I sat next to the other healers in a make shift tent. Master Awa was up at the front and she was going over the game plan. What our job was during and after the battle. What we needed to be prepared for and what we needed to be aware of. "Corina, please stand up." I was snapped out of my daydream and stood straight up. "She will lead the third craft. Davin will lead the second craft. I will lead the first craft. Make sure you all have the supplies needed."
"Third craft come to me please. Hurry." We all exchanged herbs, bandages. I made sure all the healers under me were fully equipped. "You all have ten minutes until it's time to board the ship. Make all of your goodbyes short and sweet. We will fight soon to keep our loved ones un-harmed." They all stared at me, pumped and thrilled. We all threw our hands in and threw them back out, as we disassembled we tapped each others shoulders. I knew this group really well, we all trained and learned together. I wouldn't want it any other way. I watched as others went up and said goodbye to loved ones. I knew I wouldn't be able to find my father, he'd already be on a ship. Mom and Nana wouldn't come out here and I don't blame them. I smiled as I looked over the Northern Watertribe. This glorious crystal city sparkles under the sun. I couldn't bare to see it fall.
At that instant I was grabbed and spun around. Everyone else was let out to say their final goodbyes as well. Laan, followed by his friends, found me. You could definitely tell the jock type waterbender guys, they were wolf calling to get prepared for this battle. I stepped back to get out of the way, I didn't want to get smashed from their roughness. "Good luck Corina." Right by my side was the beautiful, chocolate haired, waterbender. She was a bit taller than I and had bright blue eyes. I smiled and shook her hand, "You too. Be safe." Be safe, that's stupid. Why would I say that? I could totally face palm right now... but she didn't seem phased by it. She walked off and I turned right into Laan.
"Which ship do they have you on?" "I'm on the third craft... you?" "First.." He watched and waited for my reaction.. The first ship. The first ship to the battle, the first to shoot the cannons, the first to fight. My heart was racing. "Don't worry about me, I don't know what I would do if you weren't safe." My eyes widened and I stared up into his deep blue eyes. I collapsed into his arms that wrapped around me. He whispered into my ear, "I know sometimes you feel like you don't matter, I felt it through your waterbending, like you don't amount to much. But Corina, you mean the world to me. You are the stars in my night sky." I was speechless. Time froze. The rain froze. All sound was hushed. There wasn't a war in my heart anymore. He pulled me back. At that instant I dug through my bag and pulled out an herb. "It might not help much, but this beautiful blossom can help wounds... and..." I pulled out a vile of herbal water and also handed it to him. "It's actually my own blend and contains a lot of healing properties." I worked a smile through my blush. He fumbled out a package from his belt. It was wrapped in a blue leather and it made it's way to my hands. "You didn't have to get me anyth..." "Shh, just open it already." I could tell he was anxious. At this moment I could see a couple of other people around us, including the beautiful girl.
I untied the knot and slowly unwrapped the leather. A smaller piece of leather, a light blue was inside, it... it was a strap? No.. it was a necklace? Noooo. My eyes fluttered up to him and back at the gift. Quickly back to him. "I know it's old fashioned and the tradition has changed a bit... but I know you really appreciate our culture and ..." I could tell he was finding his words. "Corina you are not like any other person I've met. You're beautiful on the inside and out. Your spirit is healing itself... just being with you I feel like my soul is being healed. You never do anything for yourself, you always put others in front of you. This may seem sudden and I don't need any anwser right now, but I love you and I want spend the rest of my life with you." He reached for the betrothal neckalce in my hand and tied it around my neck. I grabbed the hand carved charm around my neck and held it tightly.
"First rank follow in!" It was like being ripped away from a dream. I kept a grip on this charm to make sure everything is real. I didn't want him to let go... He stared into my eyes.. "FIRST RANK, NOW." He was about to peal away and follow in and I put my hand on his face, "Yes." He smiled and rested his forehead on mine. Then splashed me with water. I could see his smile as he ran off and fell in line. Then came second and then it was my time. We boarded the ship and got into our spots. What was probably forever only seems a few short minutes. I was in a daze.
One of the ships finally got a hold of the General Iroh. Soon we could start to see Republic City on the horizon... and barely off in the distance a huge statue of Avatar Aang.. it was eerie.. there were burning ships in the harbor and smoke rose off the city.. something on the waves. Was it.... a boat?
The boat came right in front of our small fleet when it exploded. It shook the boats and left a ring in my ears. I looked over board but couldn't find anything on the dark waters. Soon pieces of wood floated by.. the gas was on fire on top of the water. I searched for anyone anybody.. is it a trap? My heart leapt and before I knew it I dove into the water. I worked the water around my body to propel myself towards this floating figure. I got to this body which turned out to be a man. I grabbed hold of him and as soon as I did he grabbed tightly onto me. "Please someone I need help!" I screamed out to the ships as I searched for any others amongst the wreckage. Some of the waterbenders met me a top of their ship as I slung me and this man up with all of my power. I didn't recognize the man as I started to perform on him. I started CPR and waited for his heartbeat. I quickly reached for water and started to try and heal the cuts and burns of his face.
As I put my hands over his face I could feel his muscles relax and his blood stream flow. His heart became steady as well as his breathing. His eyes slowly started to open and everyone came in closer. "Get back, stay back." I threw my hands up motioning everyone away. I leaned closer into him... "What is your name?"
AND bam! I woke up. And I think it was Noatok XP What a crazy dream :3
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